This semester was harder than I ever expected, but I learned more life-lessons within the past sixteen weeks than any of the other semesters combined. Looking back, I am not really sure how I made it through everything, but I couldn’t be more thankful for the experiences that helped me become who I am today despite the challenges.
I always use to tell myself that nothing is impossible and that I could do anything I set my mind to if I was determined enough. This helped me achieve great things in the past, but this semester humbled me to realize that some things truly aren’t possible. I was pushing myself harder than I ever had before, and I was setting unrealistic expectations for myself. This year, I took a full semester at the college through dual-enrollment while dancing full time as a professional trainee ballet dancer. Though I had done this before, my academic courses were more difficult this time, and the demands were a lot higher. I was only getting about five hours of sleep every single night just to keep my feet on the ground, and the exhaustion/stress really started to take a toll on my health.
I learned that “you can do anything, but you can’t do everything.”
The problem was, I was trying to give 100% effort at both school and dance because I didn’t know where I would end up or what I even wanted anymore. A professional career in ballet is extremely competitive, and universities are also highly selective; I needed to be perfect at both. It was about mid-October when I realized that something had to change because I physically couldn’t do everything anymore, and I was wearing myself out… I had some big decisions to make. After thinking everything through, I decided to no longer pursue a professional career in ballet after Nutcracker which was one of the hardest decisions that I have ever had to make. Even though it is a huge change in my life, I know that I made the right decision, and I did what it best for me. Since then, I am so much happier, and I passed all of my classes!
Through it all, it truly was bittersweet to walk off campus for the last time knowing that some of my friends wont return in January… From the coffee shop shows, Friday morning laughs, “flying squirrel” (inside joke), study groups, and hot chocolate chats, I couldn’t have hoped for a better group of people to hang with. I made some great friendships, and I am so thankful for all of the wonderful memories! It certainly wasn’t an easy semester, but we got through it together. The Fall semester is officially complete. I can’t believe it, but we did it!!
This week marks the beginning of a brand new season, and I am so excited for all of the amazing adventures that await. This is a very big year for me because I am a senior in the professional-trainee division, so this will be my final year with the academy. I have made so many great memories throughout the past five years, and I am so thankful for all of the wonderful opportunities that have had. The fact is, I am not certain where my future in dance leads because job contracts are so competitive. As much as I would love to dance in a company, nothing is guaranteed, so I am going to embrace every moment that I have in the studio this year. I am not going to complain about the fatigue, the stress, the aching muscles, the blistered toes, and the long rehearsal days… I am just going to dance my heart out, and enjoy doing what I love.
The Nutcracker, Don Quixote, Professional Mixed Rep, Mulan, “an unwritten story,” and Night of Variations are all scheduled to take the stage, and I cannot wait to begin preparing for these productions. I know that this will be an incredibly busy season, but it will certainly be one to remember. I hope that you join me for another great year…
Thanks for reading!
Now, it is official. I had been anticipating this day for weeks, so I am very happy that I can finally say that I am seventeen years old. As much as I don’t want my childhood to end, this is a super exciting milestone because it is the perfect balance between the youth of sweet sixteen and the maturity of adulthood. I was literally counting down the days, and I can’t even tell you how happy I am that it is finally here. Some people are still confused why this is such a big deal for me, and I honestly don’t exactly know either. There is just something about 17…
Confetti flew as I made a wish, blew out the candles, got a little wild, and turned another year older. I had a fantastic party on Saturday, and I was so thankful to celebrate with everyone. I even got a super cute cup that made me feel extra special (thanks, mom). I had a blast, and I will never forget that one moment where everything was perfect. I looked around the table at all of the smiling faces, and I remember wishing the clock would freeze at that exact moment in time. Family and friends were all gathered together, and I just wanted it to last forever… Every single one of those amazing people are so special to me, and I don’t think I could ever fully explain how much they have changed my life. My heart is so full, and I can’t thank everyone enough for everything.
I also want to make it very clear that I was not drinking under age, and soda was the only thing that filled that glass. I am not that bad you guys!
ANYWAYS, Cheers to 17!
Wow, I apologize for my lack of activity on WordPress this past week! Unfortunately, I haven’t had the opportunity to read your posts or write my own lately. Not only that, I had to read and write so much for school that I temporarily lost all
motivation inspiration to blog; however, I am back now! I should be able to “balance” my schedule a little better after working a full weekend, and I hope to be super active next week to keep you all updated on the pre – performance posts (as usual). I have no doubt that I will have a lot to say and rant about as the weekend looms closer. I hope that you all are doing well. Happy Saturday! 🙂
*Also, good luck to all of my friends competing this weekend! After all of the hard work, I have no doubt that you are going to shine under those lights. I am super excited to hear the results, and I will keep you in my prayers.