petals of thoughts falling into existence
I took my heart to the forest,
And felt its strong embrace
As the winter snow glistened
Softly falling upon my face
I was a lost wanderer
Lonely and alone
Until the forest found me
And guided me back home
The trees conversed together
Gently whispering my name
And when I really listened
Something within me changed
I took my heart to the forest
And with each passing sound
I realised I was never lost
The moment I was found
As I mentioned in a previous post, my family recently moved into a new house, and many exciting opportunities came with the transition… like hatching baby chicks. It was so wonderful to experience, and it has been so neat to watch them grow. We did not expect them all to hatch, so it was a great surprise to end up with ten!
It has been quite an eventful past couple of weeks, and many big projects are underway as we prepare the chicken coop and construct a fence for the goats that we will be getting as well… Overall, it has been a nice change of pace, and this new lifestyle is very fitting for us. My siblings are still so young, and living out here allows their curiosity to run wild in the great outdoors. I am going to make the most of every moment that I have here and cherish every memory… I love my family, and I love this place. Thanks, mom and dad.
Quarantine isn’t all bad.
I think most people can agree that quarantine isn’t necessarily fun, and no one wants to be trapped inside for weeks. However, this process of slowing down has highlighted how chaotic our daily lives truly are. We are so use to rushing around all the time that we have become blinded by the constant distraction, and it has showed us how much we habitually go through the motions every single day. Honestly, I have been thinking about the past few years of my own life, and I realized how absent I have been in my family. I guess I never fully understood the impact that my busy schedule had on my life at home, and I started to see how much I have been missing. There were many nights that I wouldn’t be home for dinner, and I certainly didn’t have time to garden, bake, play family games, or take a walk with my sister like I do now. My mind was just so cluttered, and I often let my “seriousness” interfere with my true happiness. The past few weeks have taught me the importance of being present… Although my busy schedule will eventually resume, I am going to be more mindful about how I spend my time and always be sure to set some aside for those who matter most. I love you mom and dad! Thanks for reading, and I hope you are all doing well. What is something quarantine has taught you?
A new decade has begun, and a new journey awaits… No matter how 2019 went for you, do not forget the lessons and experiences that helped you become the person that you are today. I hope 2020 is a great year, and I am excited to see what it has in store for all of us.
I am astounded at the growth of this blog within the past twelve months, and I could not be more thankful for the tremendous amount of support. This site topped 8,000 views this year, and I received visitors from all over the world! I am so glad to be part of this community of writers because you are all so talented and inspiring. My most popular post in 2019 was ‘Don’t Be Beautiful’ so be sure to go check that out if you haven’t already!
Beyond the blog, I also want to give a shout-out to all of the people in my personal life who were always there for me and made the year so memorable especially my mom. I don’t know what I would have done without you guys, and it means the world (you know who you are.) 2019 definitely wasn’t an easy year, but it was one that I wont forget because it truly changed my life.
Here’s to a new year and a fresh start. Happy 2020!
This semester was harder than I ever expected, but I learned more life-lessons within the past sixteen weeks than any of the other semesters combined. Looking back, I am not really sure how I made it through everything, but I couldn’t be more thankful for the experiences that helped me become who I am today despite the challenges.
I always use to tell myself that nothing is impossible and that I could do anything I set my mind to if I was determined enough. This helped me achieve great things in the past, but this semester humbled me to realize that some things truly aren’t possible. I was pushing myself harder than I ever had before, and I was setting unrealistic expectations for myself. This year, I took a full semester at the college through dual-enrollment while dancing full time as a professional trainee ballet dancer. Though I had done this before, my academic courses were more difficult this time, and the demands were a lot higher. I was only getting about five hours of sleep every single night just to keep my feet on the ground, and the exhaustion/stress really started to take a toll on my health.
I learned that “you can do anything, but you can’t do everything.”
The problem was, I was trying to give 100% effort at both school and dance because I didn’t know where I would end up or what I even wanted anymore. A professional career in ballet is extremely competitive, and universities are also highly selective; I needed to be perfect at both. It was about mid-October when I realized that something had to change because I physically couldn’t do everything anymore, and I was wearing myself out… I had some big decisions to make. After thinking everything through, I decided to no longer pursue a professional career in ballet after Nutcracker which was one of the hardest decisions that I have ever had to make. Even though it is a huge change in my life, I know that I made the right decision, and I did what it best for me. Since then, I am so much happier, and I passed all of my classes!
Through it all, it truly was bittersweet to walk off campus for the last time knowing that some of my friends wont return in January… From the coffee shop shows, Friday morning laughs, “flying squirrel” (inside joke), study groups, and hot chocolate chats, I couldn’t have hoped for a better group of people to hang with. I made some great friendships, and I am so thankful for all of the wonderful memories! It certainly wasn’t an easy semester, but we got through it together. The Fall semester is officially complete. I can’t believe it, but we did it!!
“in the end, she became
more than what she expected.
she became the journey,
and like all journeys,
she did not end, she just
simply changed directions
and kept going.”
*quote: r.m. drake
*photo: richard jean-louis
“Decisions. We can think about things, turn them over in our minds a million times, play out possible scenarios, but really when it comes down to it, you have to go with your heart and move forward. Maybe things will go well. Maybe they’ll turn out poorly. Every decision brings with it some good, some bad, some lessons, and some luck. The only thing that’s for sure is that indecision steals many years from many people who wind up wishing they’d just had the courage to leap.”
~Doe Zantamata
It can be scary to make a decision especially if it entails major changes in your life. Sometimes, you are put in a situation where you are given two very different options, and you are forced to choose which path to take. You are not sure which one is “right” and you don’t really know where you are meant to go, so you spend time contemplating the alternatives. Days go by, followed by weeks, and even months. Your gut feeling tells you which path to take, but you are too paralyzed to actually make things happen because you worry that you are wrong and fear the pit of regret. However, you cannot spend your entire life dwelling on the unknown because the truth is that you are never going to be 100% sure of every outcome. It is not possible. You are wasting so many opportunities if you let fear take complete control and if you allow other people to sway your direction in life. Do what you want to do, and go where you feel like you should be. Definitely consider the outcomes, but don’t spend your entire life sitting around waiting because you are afraid.
Make a decision. Make it happen.
Reflection from the week…
*Photo Credits: Claire H.
I am officially a senior… I feel really old when I say that, and it sounds a little freaky if I’m honest. I still can’t believe that I have actually come this far, but I know that my journey is only just beginning as I decide where I want to go from here. Auditions for professional dance companies are quickly filling up my calendar, and college applications, research, and tours are going to keep me busy for the next several months. I have reached a very confusing and stressful time in my life as I make major life-decisions that will determine my entire future in both dance and school.
The possibilities seem endless as I attempt to narrow down the perfect fit for me and figure out what I truly want to do with my life. For years, I had always seemed to know exactly what I wanted and thought I had a plan to get there. However, I am quickly realizing that life is much more complicated than I once thought because things are constantly changing, and new opportunities are always arising. Out of seventeen years, I think this just might be the biggest and most determining one yet…
Here’s to another awesome year, new memories, and lovely faces. School has officially begun, and I am almost to the finish line for high school graduation. I just have to get through a few more classes…This will be definitely not be an easy year, but it is SENIOR YEAR so bring it on!! I am ready, so let’s do this!
What was your senior year like? Do you have any tips to narrow down universities? What have you been up to lately? Thanks for reading!
“there’s a universe
swirling inside you.
you have to learn to be
your own earth,
wind, fire
and water.
you are a natural
phenomenon-
not a natural disaster.”
~Unknown
*Photo Credits: Richard Jean-Louis
Eccentric movements return to my memory as I flashback to the mixed repertoire showcase of May… I was not lying when I said that I would share a video of myself dancing, and I know that several of you really wanted to see “On The Edge.” I choreographed this contemporary ballet solo last season, and I am so thankful that I was able to snag a video of dress rehearsal. The last six seconds did get cut out, and the stage lighting made a small section a little blurry. Despite the minor complications with technology, I am still willing to perform for you! This is the first time that I have ever publicly released a video of my dancing. I am nowhere near perfect, but I thought it would be fun to switch things up a bit. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!
**Special thanks to my friend for taking the video! I really appreciate it!
Writing Rose 