power

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“No one is you and

that is your power”

—Dave Grohl—


Photo: Richard Jean-Louis

musings and music// 12-17-19

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Lights decorate rooftops and illuminate the streets to transform an ordinary town into a magical wonderland. Children add the finishing touches to their snowmen, and roads become busy with travelers who eagerly head home for the holidays. Loved ones gather around the fireplace as warm cookies are munched, and special memories are made in the heart of December.


I cannot believe that Christmas is only eight days away, and 2020 is right around the corner. This year really flew by, and I am shocked that this month is already halfway over. That being said, I hope you enjoy this month’s playlist, and happy holidays from my family to yours!

  • A New York Christmas by Rob Thomas
  • Carol of the Bells by John Williams
  • This Christmas by Donny Hathaway
  • It Must Be Christmas by Chris Young
  • White Christmas by The Drifters
  • Linus And Lucy by Vince Guaraldi Trio
  • Candy Cane Lane by Sia
  • Let It Be Christmas by Alan Jackson

What is your favorite Christmas song? Do you have any exciting plans coming up? What do you love about this time of year? Thanks for reading, and be sure to not miss my next post for a special treat.

Fall Semester 2019

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This semester was harder than I ever expected, but I learned more life-lessons within the past sixteen weeks than any of the other semesters combined. Looking back, I am not really sure how I made it through everything, but I couldn’t be more thankful for the experiences that helped me become who I am today despite the challenges.

I always use to tell myself that nothing is impossible and that I could do anything I set my mind to if I was determined enough. This helped me achieve great things in the past, but this semester humbled me to realize that some things truly aren’t possible. I was pushing myself harder than I ever had before, and I was setting unrealistic expectations for myself. This year, I took a full semester at the college through dual-enrollment while dancing full time as a professional trainee ballet dancer. Though I had done this before, my academic courses were more difficult this time, and the demands were a lot higher. I was only getting about five hours of sleep every single night just to keep my feet on the ground, and the exhaustion/stress really started to take a toll on my health.

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I learned that “you can do anything, but you can’t do everything.”

The problem was, I was trying to give 100% effort at both school and dance because I didn’t know where I would end up or what I even wanted anymore. A professional career in ballet is extremely competitive, and universities are also highly selective; I needed to be perfect at both. It was about mid-October when I realized that something had to change because I physically couldn’t do everything anymore, and I was wearing myself out… I had some big decisions to make. After thinking everything through, I decided to no longer pursue a professional career in ballet after Nutcracker which was one of the hardest decisions that I have ever had to make. Even though it is a huge change in my life, I know that I made the right decision, and I did what it best for me. Since then, I am so much happier, and I passed all of my classes!

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Through it all, it truly was bittersweet to walk off campus for the last time knowing that some of my friends wont return in January… From the coffee shop shows, Friday morning laughs, “flying squirrel” (inside joke), study groups, and hot chocolate chats, I couldn’t have hoped for a better group of people to hang with. I made some great friendships, and I am so thankful for all of the wonderful memories! It certainly wasn’t an easy semester, but we got through it together. The Fall semester is officially complete. I can’t believe it, but we did it!!

Nutty Weekend

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Just like that, Nutcracker 2019 has officially come to a close, but I would do anything to go back and relive my moment as the sugar plum fairy…

I couldn’t be more thankful for the opportunity to dance such an iconic role, and it was truly an honor to perform. My second show on Saturday night was better than I had ever expected, and I can’t recall time where I was that happy onstage before. I was overcome with joy, and I truly danced my heart out which doesn’t happen everyday. I am not sure how my dancing was physically, but I think that last show was one of the best ones I have ever done. If anything, it is definitely something that I will remember for a very long time.

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However, I am going to be honest and admit that it was not an easy weekend for me, and this Nutcracker certainly had its hiccups. I was in a lot of pain as my muscles kept seizing up in the middle of my dances, my Achilles was hurting, and I had a really bad cough that was a constant struggle. Also, slipping onstage during the pas de deux of my first show was far from the debut that I had envisioned.

Despite the circumstances, it truly was an incredible experience, and I am already missing that theater. It has been an amazing journey to get here, and I have made so many memories that will last an entire lifetime. Thank you to everyone who came out to support me and also everyone who encouraged me backstage. The entire cast danced beautifully, and I am so lucky to have shared that stage with such a talented group of artists. This was truly a dream, and I will always remember Nutcracker 2019…

Casting is Out!

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It is that time of year again, and casting for the Nutcracker has officially been released. This is the ballet that inspired me to begin dancing again as my seven-year old eyes peered up at the stage in complete astonishment. I watched as Clara journeyed through the snowy forest and into the land of sweets where she was greeted by a sugar plum fairy and handsome cavalier. My heart soared as I watched them fly across the stage, and I knew that I wanted to be just like that when I grew up.

Ten years later, I am preparing for my own debut of the very role that I had idolized… I could not be more humbled to announce that I have been cast as the sugar plum fairy. This is my last Nutcracker before graduation and possibly the last one that I will ever do, so I can’t tell you how much this means to me. I never thought that I would ever get this chance, so I am incredibly honored. I am going to do the very best that I can, and I hope to inspire the audience as I once was.

I am also looking forward to dancing in mirliton and the snow corps de ballet. Rehearsals have already begun, and I am getting very excited for the big day to arrive! This will certainly be a show to remember, and this is something I will never forget…

Have you ever seen the Nutcracker? If you are dancing, what roles did you land this year? Do you have anything exciting coming up? Thanks for reading!

– September –

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“I can smell autumn dancing in the breeze. The sweet chill of pumpkin and crisp sun burnt leaves.”

~Unknown

September has arrived, and the first day of fall is right around the corner. I always look forward to the cool evenings, savory spices, and vibrant colors every year. The “small things” like falling leaves remind me to pause for a moment and breathe in the midst of all of the chaos. The fall semester is certainly stressful, but the autumn season really helps offset that tension because it is so beautiful.

I have created this month’s playlist for you guys, so I figured I would just release it now. I hope you enjoy, and happy September!

  • Dark Green by Children of Indigo
  • Rollercoaster by Bleachers
  • It Goes On by Zac Brown & Sir Rosevelt
  • Good Things Fall Apart by Illenium & Jon Bellion
  • Next Year by Donovan Woods
  • So Far Away by Staind
  • That Old Truck by Thomas Rhett
  • More I See by S. Carey
  • Suit and Jacket by Judah & the Lion

What are you listening to this month? Do you enjoy autumn? What is your favorite thing about this time of year? Can you believe 2019 is almost over? Thanks for reading!

Senior Year!

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I am officially a senior… I feel really old when I say that, and it sounds a little freaky if I’m honest. I still can’t believe that I have actually come this far, but I know that my journey is only just beginning as I decide where I want to go from here. Auditions for professional dance companies are quickly filling up my calendar, and college applications, research, and tours are going to keep me busy for the next several months. I have reached a very confusing and stressful time in my life as I make major life-decisions that will determine my entire future in both dance and school.

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The possibilities seem endless as I attempt to narrow down the perfect fit for me and figure out what I truly want to do with my life. For years, I had always seemed to know exactly what I wanted and thought I had a plan to get there. However, I am quickly realizing that life is much more complicated than I once thought because things are constantly changing, and new opportunities are always arising. Out of seventeen years, I think this just might be the biggest and most determining one yet…

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Here’s to another awesome year, new memories, and lovely faces. School has officially begun, and I am almost to the finish line for high school graduation. I just have to get through a few more classes…This will be definitely not be an easy year, but it is SENIOR YEAR so bring it on!! I am ready, so let’s do this!

What was your senior year like? Do you have any tips to narrow down universities? What have you been up to lately? Thanks for reading!