in my hand I hold a story
washed away by the sands of time
a fragment of the past
beaten and forgotten
stripped from depths that never saw the light
lost among the wreckage
of a perilous journey for years
it somehow found its way to me
but I cannot retell its tale
for its origins are still a mystery
forever lost under the waves
through all the uncertainty,
I know that I am holding
a connection to the past
a beautiful piece of beach glass
I recently took a walk along the shore and recovered a few pieces of beach glass that inspired me to write this. I began to wonder if they are a hundred year old remains from a shipwreck or simply a bottle that fell overboard… They could be anything, and the possibilities seemed endless. I think it is amazing to consider the story behind something so simple, and the history of something in my hand. What are your thoughts on this?
This semester was harder than I ever expected, but I learned more life-lessons within the past sixteen weeks than any of the other semesters combined. Looking back, I am not really sure how I made it through everything, but I couldn’t be more thankful for the experiences that helped me become who I am today despite the challenges.
I always use to tell myself that nothing is impossible and that I could do anything I set my mind to if I was determined enough. This helped me achieve great things in the past, but this semester humbled me to realize that some things truly aren’t possible. I was pushing myself harder than I ever had before, and I was setting unrealistic expectations for myself. This year, I took a full semester at the college through dual-enrollment while dancing full time as a professional trainee ballet dancer. Though I had done this before, my academic courses were more difficult this time, and the demands were a lot higher. I was only getting about five hours of sleep every single night just to keep my feet on the ground, and the exhaustion/stress really started to take a toll on my health.
I learned that “you can do anything, but you can’t do everything.”
The problem was, I was trying to give 100% effort at both school and dance because I didn’t know where I would end up or what I even wanted anymore. A professional career in ballet is extremely competitive, and universities are also highly selective; I needed to be perfect at both. It was about mid-October when I realized that something had to change because I physically couldn’t do everything anymore, and I was wearing myself out… I had some big decisions to make. After thinking everything through, I decided to no longer pursue a professional career in ballet after Nutcracker which was one of the hardest decisions that I have ever had to make. Even though it is a huge change in my life, I know that I made the right decision, and I did what it best for me. Since then, I am so much happier, and I passed all of my classes!
Through it all, it truly was bittersweet to walk off campus for the last time knowing that some of my friends wont return in January… From the coffee shop shows, Friday morning laughs, “flying squirrel” (inside joke), study groups, and hot chocolate chats, I couldn’t have hoped for a better group of people to hang with. I made some great friendships, and I am so thankful for all of the wonderful memories! It certainly wasn’t an easy semester, but we got through it together. The Fall semester is officially complete. I can’t believe it, but we did it!!
Just like that, Nutcracker 2019 has officially come to a close, but I would do anything to go back and relive my moment as the sugar plum fairy…
I couldn’t be more thankful for the opportunity to dance such an iconic role, and it was truly an honor to perform. My second show on Saturday night was better than I had ever expected, and I can’t recall time where I was that happy onstage before. I was overcome with joy, and I truly danced my heart out which doesn’t happen everyday. I am not sure how my dancing was physically, but I think that last show was one of the best ones I have ever done. If anything, it is definitely something that I will remember for a very long time.
However, I am going to be honest and admit that it was not an easy weekend for me, and this Nutcracker certainly had its hiccups. I was in a lot of pain as my muscles kept seizing up in the middle of my dances, my Achilles was hurting, and I had a really bad cough that was a constant struggle. Also, slipping onstage during the pas de deux of my first show was far from the debut that I had envisioned.
Despite the circumstances, it truly was an incredible experience, and I am already missing that theater. It has been an amazing journey to get here, and I have made so many memories that will last an entire lifetime. Thank you to everyone who came out to support me and also everyone who encouraged me backstage. The entire cast danced beautifully, and I am so lucky to have shared that stage with such a talented group of artists. This was truly a dream, and I will always remember Nutcracker 2019…
I stood backstage staring at the vibrant feather that I was about to pin back into my hair, and I began to remember January’s performance…
This was our moment of redemption.
My bare feet slid across the stage, and my arms swayed to create abstract shapes that showcased the wonders of modern movement. It all happened so fast, and there wasn’t much time to overthink the steps that my body had instinctively began to do. I soared as high as I possibly could, and I felt like I was really able to live in the moment this time. Just like that, it all ended. Looking out into the audience, the six of us stood together and bowed our heads. The applause filled the theater, and our hearts filled with relief; we did it!
It was honor to perform with this incredibly talented group of dancers, and I am so thankful that I was chosen to be a part of this piece. It was such a wonderful opportunity, and I feel like I have grown a lot as an artist by discovering new ways to move. This piece has also inspired my own choreography because I was able to see how unusual movements develop into something truly amazing. Overall, I really loved this dance, and I hope that I have more opportunities to work with brilliant minds like the choreographer behind “Flight.” Thanks for everything!
From my window, I sit frozen in time as the bitter wind cuts across the night sky. My gaze shifts to the lonely pieces of paper as I contemplate the words running deep within my mind. Hidden corners of these cold thoughts contain unwanted memories of what use to be. My pen remains untouched as I am not sure where to begin writing the story that left me lost in my own imagination. The confusion still rings as I wonder what could have been. The sting of another winter day sends shivers down my spine as I sit frozen in time sipping warm tea from my window…
I know this one was deep. I wrote this a few nights ago, but I am actually quite pleased with how it turned out. What are your thoughts? Did this connect to you in some way?
On a lighter note, I am thrilled to see so many votes coming in for my blog post poll! As I am writing this, Backstage Secrets is in the lead, but it is very closely followed by My Blogging Experience. If you haven’t voted yet, be sure to head over here and drop your top choice(s) in the comments section. Remember, this poll closes February 1st! 🙂 Thanks for reading and have a great week!
Blog Post Current Polls:
Embarrassing Moments: 3 votes
Backstage Secrets: 8 votes
First Few Months of Driving: 2 votes
Guilty Confessions: 3 votes
Playlist: 3 votes
My Blogging Experience: 5 votes