Nutty Weekend

Just like that, Nutcracker 2019 has officially come to a close, but I would do anything to go back and relive my moment as the sugar plum fairy…

I couldn’t be more thankful for the opportunity to dance such an iconic role, and it was truly an honor to perform. My second show on Saturday night was better than I had ever expected, and I can’t recall time where I was that happy onstage before. I was overcome with joy, and I truly danced my heart out which doesn’t happen everyday. I am not sure how my dancing was physically, but I think that last show was one of the best ones I have ever done. If anything, it is definitely something that I will remember for a very long time.

However, I am going to be honest and admit that it was not an easy weekend for me, and this Nutcracker certainly had its hiccups. I was in a lot of pain as my muscles kept seizing up in the middle of my dances, my Achilles was hurting, and I had a really bad cough that was a constant struggle. Also, slipping onstage during the pas de deux of my first show was far from the debut that I had envisioned.

Despite the circumstances, it truly was an incredible experience, and I am already missing that theater. It has been an amazing journey to get here, and I have made so many memories that will last an entire lifetime. Thank you to everyone who came out to support me and also everyone who encouraged me backstage. The entire cast danced beautifully, and I am so lucky to have shared that stage with such a talented group of artists. This was truly a dream, and I will always remember Nutcracker 2019…

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-shadows-

“Never fear shadows. They simply mean there’s a light shining somewhere nearby.”

Quote: Ruth E. Renkel

Decisions

“Decisions. We can think about things, turn them over in our minds a million times, play out possible scenarios, but really when it comes down to it, you have to go with your heart and move forward. Maybe things will go well. Maybe they’ll turn out poorly. Every decision brings with it some good, some bad, some lessons, and some luck. The only thing that’s for sure is that indecision steals many years from many people who wind up wishing they’d just had the courage to leap.”

~Doe Zantamata

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It can be scary to make a decision especially if it entails major changes in your life. Sometimes, you are put in a situation where you are given two very different options, and you are forced to choose which path to take. You are not sure which one is “right” and you don’t really know where you are meant to go, so you spend time contemplating the alternatives. Days go by, followed by weeks, and even months. Your gut feeling tells you which path to take, but you are too paralyzed to actually make things happen because you worry that you are wrong and fear the pit of regret. However, you cannot spend your entire life dwelling on the unknown because the truth is that you are never going to be 100% sure of every outcome. It is not possible. You are wasting so many opportunities if you let fear take complete control and if you allow other people to sway your direction in life. Do what you want to do, and go where you feel like you should be. Definitely consider the outcomes, but don’t spend your entire life sitting around waiting because you are afraid.

Make a decision. Make it happen.

Reflection from the week…

*Photo Credits: Claire H.

Senior Year!

I am officially a senior… I feel really old when I say that, and it sounds a little freaky if I’m honest. I still can’t believe that I have actually come this far, but I know that my journey is only just beginning as I decide where I want to go from here. Auditions for professional dance companies are quickly filling up my calendar, and college applications, research, and tours are going to keep me busy for the next several months. I have reached a very confusing and stressful time in my life as I make major life-decisions that will determine my entire future in both dance and school.

The possibilities seem endless as I attempt to narrow down the perfect fit for me and figure out what I truly want to do with my life. For years, I had always seemed to know exactly what I wanted and thought I had a plan to get there. However, I am quickly realizing that life is much more complicated than I once thought because things are constantly changing, and new opportunities are always arising. Out of seventeen years, I think this just might be the biggest and most determining one yet…

Here’s to another awesome year, new memories, and lovely faces. School has officially begun, and I am almost to the finish line for high school graduation. I just have to get through a few more classes…This will be definitely not be an easy year, but it is SENIOR YEAR so bring it on!! I am ready, so let’s do this!

What was your senior year like? Do you have any tips to narrow down universities? What have you been up to lately? Thanks for reading!

Dryads & Shades

Excerpts from two beautiful ballets filled the stage last week as dryads instantly transformed into a kingdom of shades.

Right after floating through the dream scene of Don Quixote, I only had a few seconds to recover before jumping into the first shade variation of La Bayadere. I had performed it before, but I forgot how physically demanding it was especially in addition to the corps de ballet work. It is one of the fastest variations that I have ever done, so maintaining precise execution of each step, despite the fatigue, is an incredibly challenging endeavor. However, the encouraging cheers from the audience gave me so much energy, and I finished stronger than I ever had in rehearsal. When I hit my final pose, I couldn’t hold back the giant smile that radiated from my face… It was a great show!

elements ii

“there’s a universe

swirling inside you.

 

you have to learn to be

your own earth,

wind, fire

and water.

 

you are a natural

phenomenon-

not a natural disaster.”

~Unknown

*Photo Credits: Richard Jean-Louis

Behind the Curtain

13 hours in the theater. 6 quick changes. 3 performances. 2 dress rehearsals. All in 1 busy day.

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I glanced at the bruises forming on my feet, and my body was overcome with a state of pure exhaustion. It was my eleventh hour in the theater, and I stood behind the curtain listening to the constant murmur of the crowd as they made their way to their seats. The final show of “The Little Mermaid” was about to begin, and I was minutes away from tackling another ballet with the very little energy that I had left. It is expected that every performance has the same quality, and the audience deserves the same experience every show because tickets all cost the same. This is where it gets challenging and stressful for us, dancers. At the end of the day, fatigue and aching muscles must be concealed by bubbly smiles and seemingly effortless movements which is extremely difficult. I don’t think the audience ever truly realizes what actually goes on backstage, and the beauty of this art form can be very deceiving by the graceful image that we portray.

All in all, it was great to be back in the theater, but I think ballet officially kicked my butt.

What did you do this weekend? Have you had any performances recently? Are you ready for summer?

Guilty Confessions

It’s guilty confessions time! Many of you have been waiting on this post since you voted in January’s blog post poll, so I am super excited to finally release it. This is where I confess four shameful things that I am guilty for and hope that you don’t judge me too harshly… Here we go!

1: I have typed wrong my entire life.

I actually didn’t even realize this until about two months ago when my mom pointed it out. My left hand was typing fine, but my right index finger was literally stretching to hit every letter on the other side of the keyboard. I am currently trying to break this habit after years of incorrect typing, and it is definitely not an easy task.

2: I have a childish fear of needles.

This is painful to admit, but I am absolutely terrified of needles. Even sitting in a doctor’s office makes my body tremble, and I have cried several tears (even as a teenager) because of this childish fear.

3: I am a really bad nail biter.

I have been guilty of this for years, but it is actually much better than it use to be! Honestly, I use to bite my nails until they would bleed, so I am definitely making progress.

4: I gave my friend her birthday gift three months late.

Yes, this actually happened. I got the gift on time, but I kept leaving it at my house whenever we would see each other. I felt so bad, but I finally got the gift to her three months late.

What are you are guilty for? Can you relate to any of these things?

Photo credits: Thank you, Grandma Gayle, for capturing this awesome in-between moment when I was least expecting it.

Taking Flight

During a live performance, nothing is promised, and the audience experiences something new each time the curtain rises. They are able to witness the real-time mishaps and slips that cannot be undone or edited out. Each show is simply an unparalleled mystery to both the dancers and audience members because it is never certain what the outcome will be regardless of the repeated choreography. Even though dancers try to maintain a professional image, we are just like the people in the darkened theater clutching tickets in their palms. We make mistakes. We fall. We have off days just like everybody else. No matter how hard we strive for perfection, we will never be flawless, and that is reality.

Saturday, we took Flight, a guest-choreographed modern piece, downtown with peacock feathers perched delicately in our hair. To be honest, I am quite disappointed with my performance. It was an incredibly stressful night as things continuously went wrong, and I had to endure that defeated feeling as I took a bow. This piece will be performed again later this season, so I am hoping that we can redeem ourselves. As of right now, we must move on because it is going to be a busy week in the studio as we prepare for Alice in Wonderland in three weeks! I will not waste any more time thinking about the past. We have a ballet to learn. 🙂

Audition Season

Audition season officially began for me today as I attended my very first audition of the year. As numbers are pinned onto leotards and judges sort through application papers, it is quite nerve wracking. At my age, directors are looking beyond summer intensive acceptance, and they are taking company positions into consideration…

You only have one class to show the judges what you can do. That one class might be worth major scholarship money to pay for an entire summer of training, and it can give you a reputation for a potential job! As stressful as it can be, it is so neat to take master classes from different ballet directors, and I love experiencing their unique teaching style. I am so grateful that they take so much time to tour around the country to host these auditions. In the end, I try not to worry about the results or my future as a dancer because I know that God has a plan for me. If this is what I am meant to do, I will be at the right company at the right time… It will all work out how it is suppose to. Good luck to all of my readers who are auditioning this season!

“The person who worries reveals his lack of trust in God and that he is trusting too much in self.”

~Lee Roberson

Photo Credits: The wonderful, Ms. Carol. Thank you so much for these!