trapped thoughts

writing

Wow, it’s been quite awhile since I actually sat down to write. To be honest, it was difficult for me to find the words to say with everything going on, and my creativity was almost non existent as I became stuck in what felt like an endless time-loop. Life was (and still is) like reliving the exact same day over-and-over again… I wake up staring at the same wall wondering how I am going to spend yet another twenty-four hours in quarantine. Whenever I would try to write, my thoughts would remain trapped, and the only thing that I could do was stare at a blank screen and blinking cursor until finally deciding to walk away. Inspiration faded, and writer’s block had inevitably taken over.

Instead of fighting it, I decided to accept it and step away for awhile. I did not want my passion for writing to diminish completely by forcing words down, so I waited. And waited. Until eventually, they began flowing again…

I have not forgotten about you guys, and I am going to try to become more active on this space. I love writing, and I am looking forward to many more posts to come. I hope that you are all doing well, and I would love to hear from you in the comments! It has been so long!

Has anything new or exciting happened recently? What have you been up to? Has quarantine been giving you writer’s block as well? How do you cope with it? Thanks for reading!

Before the dawn

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“Night is always darker before the dawn

and life is the same, the hard times will

pass, every thing will get better and

sun will shine brighter than ever.”

~Ernest Hemingway

During a time like this, it can be difficult to see the light in the struggle, and negativity seems to surround us in the aftermath of COVID-19… Fear continues to grow, and so many people are left desperate for relief as the impact becomes more widespread.

It is easy to feel consumed in this darkness, but it is our own decision how we are going to react to it. There is still so much to be thankful for, and we must keep these things close to heart despite the hardships. Things will not stay this way forever, and there is always sunshine behind the storm. Remember Ernest Hemingway’s words and know that hope is never lost. It may take some time to get back up, but when we do, we will be stronger than we ever were before!


I just wanted to share this inspiring poem because it is so relevant to what we are all going through right now. I hope that this reflection was moving or gave you a new perspective as it did for me… Feel free to share your own poems or quotes in the comments section, and I hope that you have  a great rest of the week!

Being present

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Quarantine isn’t all bad.

I think most people can agree that quarantine isn’t necessarily fun, and no one wants to be trapped inside for weeks. However, this process of slowing down has highlighted how chaotic our daily lives truly are. We are so use to rushing around all the time that we have become blinded by the constant distraction, and it has showed us how much we habitually go through the motions every single day. Honestly, I have been thinking about the past few years of my own life, and I realized how absent I have been in my family. I guess I never fully understood the impact that my busy schedule had on my life at home, and I started to see how much I have been missing. There were many nights that I wouldn’t be home for dinner, and I certainly didn’t have time to garden, bake, play family games, or take a walk with my sister like I do now. My mind was just so cluttered, and I often let my “seriousness” interfere with my true happiness. The past few weeks have taught me the importance of being present… Although my busy schedule will eventually resume, I am going to be more mindful about how I spend my time and always be sure to set some aside for those who matter most. I love you mom and dad! Thanks for reading, and I hope you are all doing well. What is something quarantine has taught you?

Easter 2020!

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I hope that you all had a blessed Easter 2020! Although this year was quite different than others, my family still celebrated the resurrection of our Savior, and we had a great day despite the circumstances. I have to admit that quarantine definitely intensified my sweet tooth, and I have been trying to control my chocolate intake all day… Can anyone else relate?

Also, I am sending prayers to those who were impacted by the storms last night and especially for those who lost their homes or loved ones. May they be comforted and regain strength during these difficult times.

Lastly, my new sibling will arrive in two weeks, and I am getting very excited to meet the newest addition of my family. I hope that you all have a fantastic week, and thanks for reading! Until next time.

beach glass

beachglass

in my hand I hold a story

washed away by the sands of time

 

a fragment of the past

beaten and forgotten

stripped from depths that never saw the light

 

lost among the wreckage

of a perilous journey for years

it somehow found its way to me

 

but I cannot retell its tale

for its origins are still a mystery

forever lost under the waves

 

through all the uncertainty,

I know that I am holding

a connection to the past

 

a beautiful piece of beach glass


I recently took a walk along the shore and recovered a few pieces of beach glass that inspired me to write this. I began to wonder if they are a hundred year old remains from a shipwreck or simply a bottle that fell overboard… They could be anything, and the possibilities seemed endless. I think it is amazing to consider the story behind something so simple, and the history of something in my hand. What are your thoughts on this?

Update & University Search

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It’s finally Saturday! This was my first week back to school after having an entire month off, so it was a serious slap back to reality. Homework, deadlines, and exams are already on the calendar, but my brain is still on vacation (let’s be real.) I love my professors a lot though, and I am determined to finish strong because this is my last semester before I transfer to a new college. It isn’t going to be easy, but my goal is to finish with all A’s. I am currently taking Financial Accounting, Chemistry 2 and Lab, Algebra, Music Appreciation, and American Literature. Honestly, my classes are a lot harder than they were before, but I am up for the challenge… I think. I was also glad to see some of my friends again, but there are a few faces that I will miss seeing this semester as well.

As far as universities, I am almost finished applying to everywhere that I am interested. I just have to finish a few essays, and I will be all set. Yesterday, I completed my very first housing/dorming application, and the nerves really started kicking in as I began to consider moving away from home in a few months. I recently got accepted into a great school, but it’s farther from home than I was hoping to be… I am considering it though because my classes transfer better than the other places that I have looked into, and it looks like a beautiful campus. I always thought I wanted to dorm, but I am honestly beginning to wonder how I would feel about being far from my family especially with a new sibling on the way. Here come more big decisions…

I know this was a long post, but I have been really inactive on here and needed to catch up a bit. I hope that you are all doing well, and I really miss reading your posts. I appreciate all of you who have stuck around, and I am hoping to post more soon. What have you been up to? Has anything exciting happened in your life recently? Thanks for reading!

A New Decade

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A new decade has begun, and a new journey awaits… No matter how 2019 went for you, do not forget the lessons and experiences that helped you become the person that you are today. I hope 2020 is a great year, and I am excited to see what it has in store for all of us.


I am astounded at the growth of this blog within the past twelve months, and I could not be more thankful for the tremendous amount of support. This site topped 8,000 views this year, and I received visitors from all over the world! I am so glad to be part of this community of writers because you are all so talented and inspiring. My most popular post in 2019 was ‘Don’t Be Beautiful’ so be sure to go check that out if you haven’t already!

Beyond the blog, I also want to give a shout-out to all of the people in my personal life who were always there for me and made the year so memorable especially my mom. I don’t know what I would have done without you guys, and it means the world (you know who you are.) 2019 definitely wasn’t an easy year, but it was one that I wont forget because it truly changed my life.

Here’s to a new year and a fresh start. Happy 2020!

Fall Semester 2019

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This semester was harder than I ever expected, but I learned more life-lessons within the past sixteen weeks than any of the other semesters combined. Looking back, I am not really sure how I made it through everything, but I couldn’t be more thankful for the experiences that helped me become who I am today despite the challenges.

I always use to tell myself that nothing is impossible and that I could do anything I set my mind to if I was determined enough. This helped me achieve great things in the past, but this semester humbled me to realize that some things truly aren’t possible. I was pushing myself harder than I ever had before, and I was setting unrealistic expectations for myself. This year, I took a full semester at the college through dual-enrollment while dancing full time as a professional trainee ballet dancer. Though I had done this before, my academic courses were more difficult this time, and the demands were a lot higher. I was only getting about five hours of sleep every single night just to keep my feet on the ground, and the exhaustion/stress really started to take a toll on my health.

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I learned that “you can do anything, but you can’t do everything.”

The problem was, I was trying to give 100% effort at both school and dance because I didn’t know where I would end up or what I even wanted anymore. A professional career in ballet is extremely competitive, and universities are also highly selective; I needed to be perfect at both. It was about mid-October when I realized that something had to change because I physically couldn’t do everything anymore, and I was wearing myself out… I had some big decisions to make. After thinking everything through, I decided to no longer pursue a professional career in ballet after Nutcracker which was one of the hardest decisions that I have ever had to make. Even though it is a huge change in my life, I know that I made the right decision, and I did what it best for me. Since then, I am so much happier, and I passed all of my classes!

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Through it all, it truly was bittersweet to walk off campus for the last time knowing that some of my friends wont return in January… From the coffee shop shows, Friday morning laughs, “flying squirrel” (inside joke), study groups, and hot chocolate chats, I couldn’t have hoped for a better group of people to hang with. I made some great friendships, and I am so thankful for all of the wonderful memories! It certainly wasn’t an easy semester, but we got through it together. The Fall semester is officially complete. I can’t believe it, but we did it!!